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[Dec. 8th, 2011|11:46 pm] |
Any parents worried about sanitation in the shop will be glad to know that it's been completely disinfected and hag-free for more than a week, and hag is not contagious.
Once again, in time for the holidays, all of your favourite Florean Fortescue ice creams are available hot by request.
I apologise for the delay in getting the December special flavours out in time. I know Piña Colada in December is a bit unorthodox, but the holiday classics are finally back. We have Eggnog, Gingerbread, and Peppermint. I hope you've all enjoyed the Piña Colada flavour in the interim (I know some of you did!). We'll be keeping it for now. If you tell the counter girl you're a friend of Mr Fortescue's, she might even give you a bit of extra rum.
Eggnog goes well topped with rum, too. |
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[Nov. 29th, 2011|05:40 pm] |
First the piña colada smell, and now the hags. I really do apologize for the state of my shop. I've shooed them all away.
It still smells like rum and pineapples, though. |
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[Oct. 26th, 2011|02:13 pm] |
Oh dear! If anyone needs me for the rest of the day, I'm afraid I won't be in. A hag gave me a hug on the street today, and I can't for the life of me get the smell off! It's quite the predicament. As you can imagine, a manager smelling of hag is not good for business in a food establishment!
I'll be back in as soon as I'm my usual, fresh self!
In the mean time, I've got some exciting news! I don't want to spoil the surprise for anyone, but the special flavours for November have been finalised, and they involve the return of a very popular past flavour! I hope you'll all be excited! |
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[Oct. 16th, 2011|11:20 am] |
Florean Fortescue's has always been a child-friendly establishment, even before I was the Florean Fortescue in charge. For as long as I can remember, we've not had any serious problems with the young ones in the store bothering the other patrons. Of course, there have been tantrums and things, and children can be quite raucous given the chance, but no one's ever been hurt.
That is, nobody has until today. Some little devil came in as I was chatting with some customers out front, no parents with him or anything. He kicked me in both of my shins and then ran off. I really can't make heads or tails of it! |
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[Sep. 25th, 2011|01:14 pm] |
Warded to the DMLEHello there! I know you're very busy, what with tracking down Death Eaters and whatnot, but I recently received a rather strange, anonymous owl addressed to 'Uric the Oddball'. I thought you might be interested in it, and I think it might've been a threat. It contained a raw chicken leg and a chicken head wearing a wee jellyfish for a hat. I thought it was strange, but I binned it, since I didn't really trust the raw meat. Later, I wrote about it in my journal, and another (or perhaps the same) anonymous person began harassing my friend Eleanor Bones and me. Admittedly, I engaged in discussion when I should not have, but I was trying to diffuse the situation a bit.
I can go fish the owl out of the bin, if that would be helpful to you.
I was also wondering if an Auror with a few minutes to spare could check the wards on my shop? I don't expect anything to happen to me in broad daylight in Diagon Alley, especially not with the care this person has been taking to stay anonymous, but it wouldn't hurt to be safe. |
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[Sep. 25th, 2011|09:34 am] |
I think someone might have a bit of a problem with my more unusual ice cream flavours, as they've set me an owl with some raw chicken meat in it. Well, not me, precisely. It was addressed to 'Uric the Oddball'. I don't think I'm really quite so odd as all that. In fact, I'd say Bertie Botts is a good deal odder! I haven't put out a chicken flavour in months, either, and when I did, it was rotisserie with rosemary. The owl said something about two weeks.
It was really the strangest thing I've received in quite a while. They might have been confused. Perhaps they want me to take another go at chicken flavoured ice cream, as they did ask me to 'reattach' it. I'm not really sure. |
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[Sep. 4th, 2011|08:45 pm] |
Warded to Anyone Florean Talked to at the Avery Horse RacesHello there.
Did any of you take pictures? |
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[Sep. 1st, 2011|05:53 pm] |
September's special flavours are:Apple Cider
Limoncello Sorbet
Peanut Butter Fudge
Wasabi
Due to overwhelming demand, Raspberry Chocolate Truffle will be available for another month as well! Soon, I may need to extend the counter again.
I know some have may confuse the Wasabi flavour with Mint, which is a regular flavour, because they're both green, but it's really quite the opposite! I'm quite excited about it. It's made with Japanese horseradish, which has a lovely sort of spiciness to it, a bit like hot mustard. I was feeling a bit stuffy the other day, and I swear to Rowena, it cleared my sinuses up at least as well as a Pepper-Up Potion! Though if anyone is unhappy with the tingling, Mint is a rather good remedy, actually.
And I can only speak for myself, but I will look at you a bit funny if you try to order the Limoncello flavour before lunch time! |
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[Aug. 15th, 2011|03:06 pm] |
I wish it hadn't taken so long, but anyone who's come into Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour today might have noticed that we're only selling one flavour. Drooble's Best Blowing Gum. It's going to be like this for a week, and after that we're moving Drooble's out of rotation and into a permanent flavour slot.
Rest in peace. |
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[Aug. 2nd, 2011|11:08 am] |
Warded to Mr and Mrs Fabian PrewettYou really should have planned this better. If you'd have told everyone, then you might have had time to get a cake! And really, what's a wedding without cake?
That said, congratulations!
Warded to Fenella McKinnonI don't think I could express in words how terribly sorry I am about all that.
Oh dear! I don't know what came over me the other day! I must have been possessed. I can't believe I wrote any of that. I should have just got married instead of exposing all of you to that. I'm so embarrassed!
Never fear, though! I went to see a very kind nurse, and she's told me that I'm in no more danger. Though I've told Bernice to Silence me if I start acting funny again, just in case. Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour remains a family-friendly establishment!
That's enough of that. August's special flavours are:
Cucumber (at the very thoughtful request of Mr Gideon Prewett)
Pear Pineapple Sorbet (because the Pineapple Ginger one was so popular!)
Raspberry Chocolate Truffle (the star flavour of the month, really)
Sesame (positively scrumptious in a waffle cone, but also quite good spread on a bagel) |
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[Jul. 31st, 2011|09:03 pm] |
You know what I've decided? I've been dreadfully wrong about myself for quite some time! I've always loved women, and I know quite a few very beautiful ones. But I only just realised that I really am interested in them romantically and sexually! There is nothing I would love more than to visit a club full of waggling vaginas and breasts and things, and then perhaps I shall have intercourse with one or several of them.
And then perhaps I shall settle down and have many, many children that are biologically mine. |
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[Jul. 26th, 2011|10:17 pm] |
There are some awfully exciting things set to happen at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour in the coming weeks! Tomorrow, there will be sample spoons of a new special flavour I'm testing for August, as well as samples of an old special flavour that I might be bringing back for a special event! Unfortunately, I can't say the special event will involve the Raspberry Chocolate Truffle.
What could I possibly be planning with Asparagus ice cream? Keep an eye out for details, and you may soon discover! |
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[Jul. 1st, 2011|07:52 pm] |
I do think it's awfully interesting that in this account of life as a Death Eater, the writer refers to a 'lover' and not to a 'wife' or a 'girlfriend'. Assuming, naturally, that it's a male Death Eater. You can't really tell with those masks, I suppose, but I do tend to assume that they're all men. Even so, this mystery writer is playing awfully coy with pronouns!
Anywhoodle, Drooble's Best Blowing Gum is back again in July! I'm also introducing Coconut Rum, as well as two special sorbets this month: Mint Lemonade and Pineapple Ginger! |
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[Jun. 13th, 2011|03:11 pm] |
I don't know what all this fuss over rumours is supposed to be about!
Really, though, the one about the Minister's secret Muggle girlfriend is too tragic! It would really make a thrilling novel, or perhaps even a radio drama. He sacrificed his love for his political career! I think it changes my opinion of him a bit, though, but I'm not sure how. We don't really want too much drama in the Minister's office, and I do worry about the sort of man who would give up a chance at happiness because of what others might think. Is that really the type of person I would like running the country?
I asked my good friend and neighbor Ms Bagshot about it, and she said that not all love ends well. I'm sure she's right, but I can't see how it relates to the Minister's case.
By the by, I'm glad everyone is enjoying this month's special flavours! Cherry Cheesecake is a particular favourite of mine, and Drooble's Best is always a smashing success, which is why I may or may not be bringing it back again in July. I suppose you'll all have to wait and see.
Of course, the Drooble's Best flavour will be available at the Hogwarts fundraiser carnival this week, as well as a few other select flavours. I can't bring along the entire counter, of course, so I'll have to pick and choose. Again, I think you'll have to wait and see!
As every year, any recent Hogwarts graduates get complimentary Wit-Sharpening Sprinkles on any order they like at Florean Fortescue's from now until next September! |
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[May. 23rd, 2011|04:37 pm] |
Warded to Gideon and Fabian PrewettI haven't seen you boys around for a bit, or else I would say this in person, but I am tremendously sorry for your loss. I know what it's like to lose a parent at this age, but not both, and not so horribly. I know it's only a small comfort, but I've told all the counter staff that the two of you get free ice cream indefinitely. They all know you by face, of course, and they send their condolences as well. Bernice especially seemed shocked.
Fabian, if you ever want Drooble's flavoured ice cream when it's not in stock, you only have to let me know. I'll be happy to have a batch whipped up. |
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[May. 17th, 2011|04:17 pm] |
I received the most unexpected surprise in the post today! After I mentioned those dashing Order of the Phoenix t-shirts yesterday, someone sent me one. It was an anonymous package, naturally, but the glittery note was a nice touch! I don't know if they knew I liked sparkles or if they like sparkles themselves, but I appreciated it as much as I appreciated the gift. Consider this a thank you, mysterious sender!
Of course, the Order of the Phoenix is a vigilante organisation and quite illegal, but slap me on the back and call me Shirley if they don't have style. |
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[May. 16th, 2011|05:52 pm] |
I dare say all this chatter about Manifesto this, editorial that misses the real heart of the matter. That is, the Order of the Phoenix t-shirts. I'm not normally one for t-shirts, but they're rather dashing, I think. I wouldn't wear a shirt like that myself, at least not in public, because someone might see me and get the wrong idea, but it's quite the eye-catching motif.
I've always wondered why more wizards didn't choose to incorporate phoenixes into their attire. They're rather stylish birds, all brightly coloured and sparkling and whatnot. I think Professor Dumbledore might even agree with me on this one! |
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[May. 10th, 2011|05:49 pm] |
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How would the Death Eaters know where to find Muggleborn infants? That is, assuming the baby left in St Mungo's really is a young Muggleborn witch. I think that's what bothers me the most. What else could they could do if they knew where to find Muggleborns before they even get to Hogwarts? I don't even want to think about it. It's too horrible. |
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